Summary
- Baldur’s Gate 3 is packed with laugh out loud funny moments, balancing a complex plot and nuanced characters with a great sense of humor.
- The game’s humor comes from the freedom of choice, leading to strange interactions and situations throughout the game.
- From interrupting an amorous couple in a barn to hilarious spells and funny dialogue, Baldur’s Gate 3 delivers a comedic experience from start to finish.
Baldur’s Gate 3 is a fantastic game with a complex plot and nuanced characters, but it’s also pretty hilarious at times. From start to finish, it is packed with moments that are laugh out loud funny. Mirroring its Dungeons & Dragons source material, BG3 manages to walk the line between serious dramatic moments and having a sense of humor perfectly.
[Warning: The following article contains spoilers for Baldur’s Gate 3.]
A lot of the humor within Baldur’s Gate 3 comes from the freedom of choice throughout the entire game, which can lead to some strange interactions and situations. From the moment the player character wakes up in their pod on the Nautiloid to the very end battle of Baldur’s Gate 3, there are lines, characters, and scenes that are incredibly funny. It would take far too long to list all the comedic moments in Baldur’s Gate 3, but below are some of the funniest to keep an eye out for.
Contents
10 Interrupting The Couple In The Barn
On the very outskirts of the Blighted Village in Act 1 there is a barn where some very “interesting” noises can be heard. There is no reason to open the door, and if the party calls through the door they are told very firmly to go away. However, most curious parties will open the door only to find an ogre and a bugbear getting frisky.
Obviously, the amorous couple are not pleased about being interrupted. The scene itself is funny enough, but depending on who is in the party, there are some fantastic comments from the BG3 companions about the situation, with Astarion especially amused by the goings-on. Bards will even have extra dialogue choice to mock the couple and avoid combat.
9 Film Noir Cat
While walking around the streets of Baldur’s Gate, it is possible to cross paths with Malta the cat. This ginger feline can often be found close to the tower which leads to Cazador’s palace, not too far from the Lower City Central Wall waypoint. If spoken to using speak with animals, Malta will hilarious sound like he’s just stepped out of a classic film noir.
He will narrate the experience of meeting the party in a parody of a film noir detective. Better still, the character can choose to speak back to Malta in the same way, weaving a hilarious story. Even Malta’s name is an in-joke, a reference to The Maltese Falcon, a classic Humphrey Bogart movie.
8 Vicious Mockery Insults
All the spells in Baldur’s Gate 3 have voiced incantations, with the characters yelling out things such as “ignis” for firebolt or “dolor” for eldritch blast. However, none of them hold a candle to the voiced lines for vicious mockery. This classic bard cantrip hurls an insult at the enemy, imposing disadvantage on their next attack roll. All the vicious mockery insults are great, but some are hilarious. Some of the best are: “Hark! A dung-golem!” “Thou art saucy, as gruel” and “Your body’s a temple…to an idiot god!”
7 Volo’s Surgery
Once the renowned author Volothamp Geddarm, better known as Volo, has joined the camp in Baldur’s Gate 3, he can be spoken to regarding the party’s tadpole problem. Volo will claim to know of a way to get rid of the illithid hitchhikers and offer to perform surgery on a volunteer. Any reasonable person may hesitate here, wondering whether to let Volo remove their parasite. Beside the reward, however, the scene is comedy gold.
The entire surgery is hilarious, with Volo starting with a needle before picking up an ice pick. After accidentally popping out the character’s eye, which thankfully isn’t shown, Volo then proceeds to drop it on the floor before offering a replacement. The whole thing is straight out of a slapstick comedy, with Volo perfectly living up to his foolish reputation.
6 Myshka Finds His Mother
In an alley next to Bonecloak’s Apothecary in Baldur’s Gate is a fluffy white cat called Myshka. When spoken to with speak with animals, Myshka speaks in a strange, babyish way, very different to the other cats in Baldur’s Gate 3. However, that isn’t what makes Myshka funny.
If the character passes an Intelligence check, they will be able to determine that he speaks in a rare dialect called Mriaer, and is asking if the character is his mother. Obviously the only sane response is to say, “It’s me, my son.” Myshka is overjoyed to find his mother; cruelly, however, there is no option to let him come back to camp.
5 Trying To Read The Emperor’s Mind
Throughout Baldur’s Gate 3, the party can choose to read the thoughts of various NPCs using the powers the tadpoles have given them. However, there is one instance where using this power is hilarious. At the beginning of Act 3, the Dream Guardian will call out to the party for help and bring the team into the Astral Prism.
It is here that their true identity is revealed, that they are a mind flayer called the Emperor, and the party must choose whether to help the Emperor or not. There is an option to attempt to read their mind and their response is fantastic. “You must be joking. I am TELLING you my thoughts. Directly. Into. Your. Head.” Their exasperation is clear, and it is a great comedic moment in an otherwise tense scene.
4 The Flying Gnome
In the Blighted Village there is an unfortunate deep gnome named Barcus Wroot who has been tied to a windmill by goblins. They are torturing him for their own amusement, and most adventuring parties in BG3 will step in to try to help. However, even when trying to free him there is the potential for things to go a little wrong, resulting in an awful but funny fate for poor Barcus.
Around the back of the windmill are two levers: “brake” and “release brake.” While the brake lever will stop the sails and allow Barcus to be untied, the release brake will actually speed the windmill up. This will send Barcus flying off through the air, complete with comedy scream as he soars through the air.
3 Redcaps Posing As Sheep
At the southern edge of the map in Act 1 is the Putrid Bog, an area that appears to be green, lush, and full of sheep until the illusion is broken. There are a few ways to do this, such as an Investigation check, attacking one of the sheep, or when Auntie Ethel reveals her true form. However, one of the funniest ways is to interact with a sheep and pass an Animal Handling check.
As the illusion melts away, the party will be face to face with a redcap, vicious fae creatures, who have been pretending to be sheep. What makes this so funny is that redcaps will have no idea that the illusion has failed and will continue to act as sheep. When interacted with, these grumpy little creatures will glare and baa at the party, creating a wonderfully absurd BG3 moment.
2 Astarion’s Reaction To Death By Solar Powered Death Ray
In the githyanki creche, the party can come across the Blood of Lathander, a powerful mace. However, the weapon isn’t necessarily easy to get and can result in massive amounts of destruction if the party isn’t careful. Once the mace has been grabbed, a countdown will begin and the party will have a set number of turns to escape the blast zone.
Accidents do happen though, and if Astarion is killed during this incident then revived, he will have some fantastic and hilarious unique dialogue. Brilliantly acted by Neil Newbon, Astarion will berate the player character for dropping a building on his head and mock them for not being able to keep their hands to themselves. This is a fantastic example of Astarion’s humor, and it’s just a shame he’s the only BG3 companion to react to the event.
1 Licking The Spider
Finally, a truly weird comedic moment can occur in Act 2 in the Gauntlet of Shar when exploring the area. While looking for the orthon Yurgir, the party can find a spider carcass which Yurgir’s displacer beast, Nessa, has been eating. There are a few options when coming across the strange spider meat, and one of the strangest is to lick it.
Eating some of the meat causes a sense of arousal in the character who eats it, and of course the party’s reactions to this are fantastic, with each of the origin companions having something to say on the matter. Then, if that wasn’t enough, there is the option to lick it again, provoking a more intense reaction and more comments from companions. However, Gale’s is the best as he snaps, “Stop licking the damn thing!” in one of the funniest moments in Baldur’s Gate 3.