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75 Winter Jokes To Make Your Whole Family Laugh

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Winter. You either love it or hate it but whatever the case, you need to get through it. Besides the fun treats in season like Wendy’s Peppermint Frosty or all of the winter coffee flavors, there is even more to smile about. Winter doesn’t have to be a dreary time—you can laugh your way through all of that ice and snow instead! We’ve compiled a whopping 75 winter jokes that make fun of the weather and add a little bit of warmth to the season.

The best way to embrace this time of year is to make yourself a warm fire, grab your cozy slippers, sip on a hot chocolate and enjoy a little humor. Don’t be surprised by references to snowmen, penguins and polar bears. All of them are so cute and have the innate ability to survive winter.

If you already love the cold, then these funny jokes are just ice-ing on the cake! And if you would rather go in hibernation mode, this humor will at least bundle you up in joy. 

Related: Ho Ho Hilarious! These Are 57 of the Funniest Christmas Movies Ever Made

75 Winter Jokes

winter mitten joke

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1. What did the mitten say to the hand? I’ve got you covered.

2. What do you call a cold thief? A brrrr-glar.

3. Why is a sled always discouraged? It’s continuously on a downward slide.

4. Why did the snowman hold up his arms? He was told to freeze.

5. What did the black ice ask the car? Wanna go for a spin?

6. What happens when a mosquito lands on a snowman? He gets frostbite.

7. Why did the snowman leave? He had a meltdown.

8. Where does a snowman store his cash? In a snowbank.

9. Why did the reindeer have a limp? He took a snowfall.

10. Why was there a puddle in front of the fireplace? A snowman was trying to warm himself.

Related: These 35 Christmas ‘Would You Rather’ Questions Are Perfect for the Whole Family

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11. What is the purpose of bundling up? Anti-freeze.

12. Why did the orchestra set up in the snow? They wanted to play “cool jazz.”

13. What happens when you catch a cold? You get cabin fever.

14. How do you know when a snowman is scared? He’s sitting in yellow snow.

15. What is the best way to build a snow fort? I-gloo it together.

16. What happens when you ask Santa for money? He leaves cold hard cash.

17. How does Jack Frost keep warm? With a thick blanket of snow.

18. Why does Frosty’s wife look so young? She uses cold cream on her face.

19. Why did the two snowmen part ways? One was just too flaky.

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20. When is an igloo a bad investment? During global warming.

21. What are little snowmen called? Chill-dren.

22. What is a snowman’s favorite breakfast cereal? Frosted Flakes.

23. When does winter begin? When autumn leaves.

24. How did the snowman get flattened? Instead of his usual snow shower, he went for an avalanche.

25. Why are polar bears so big? Because they snack on ice cream and snow cones.

Related: 150 Winter Instagram Captions for All Your Coolest Pics This Snowy Season

26. What’s the difference between ice and icicle? Ice has noel.

27. How does a snowman lose weight? He drinks only hot chocolate.

28. What has the best chance of surviving a fall? Snow.

29. How does Jack Frost stay so thin? He only eats iceberg lettuce.

30. How does Santa like his cookies? With lots of ice-ing.

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31. What fish do you catch in the winter? Frozen fish sticks.

32. Why should you invite an ice fisherman to your party? To help break the ice.

33. What is sure to stop a snowball fight? A hail storm.

34. How does a snowman travel through town? On bi-cicle.

35. Who is Frosty’s favorite aunt? Aunt Artica.

36. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose.

37. What do you call a hot-tempered snowman? A puddle.

38. How did the man feel after being buried under the avalanche? A bit under the weather.

39. How did the snowman know he was getting sick? He had the chills.

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40. What type of beer is served in Iceland? Only drafts.

41. How do mountain tops handle the cold? They put on their snow caps.

42. What’s easy to catch and hard to get rid of? A cold.

43. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow body.

44. When will you see snowmen dance? At a snowball.

45. What did the snowman’s wife put over the baby crib? A snowmobile.

46. What gift should you never give a snowman? An electric blanket.

47. How do you know when you have angered a snowman? You’ll get the cold shoulder.

48. What do you call a reindeer without eyes? I have no eye deer.

49. What did a police officer ask a suspect in the Arctic? Where were you the night of September to March?

50. What do you call 5 snowshoe hares bouncing backward in the snow? A receding hare line.

Related: 15 Igloos, Yurts & Gondolas That Were Made for Outdoor Dining

51. Who protects snowmen? Snow angels.

52. Why should you wear a helmet during a hail storm? So you don’t get knocked out cold.

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53. Why are snowmen so well-behaved? They don’t want to end up in the greenhouse.

54. What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead and I’ll just hang around.

55. How do snowmen get smarter? From the winternet.

56. What do the elves eat for lunch in the North Pole? Cold cuts and chilly.

57. What did one snowflake say to another? Let’s stick together.

58. How can you tell when a snowman is embarrassed? He begins to slush.

59. What song do you sing to honor a snowman? Freeze a jolly good fellow.

60. What is the elf’s favorite time at the workshop? Snow and tell.

61. How do you defend yourself against a snowman? With a heat gun.

62. What do you call a snapshot from the North Pole? A polaroid.

63. Why is it easy to build a blonde snowman? It’s made up of flakes.

64. What do trees say after winter is over? What a re-leaf!

65. Why do polar bears live by themselves? They like the ice-olation.

66. Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot. You can easily catch a cold.

67. What do you call a penguin in the city? Lost.

68. What does a snowman take when he’s afraid of melting? A chill pill.

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69. What dilemma does a snowman with achy muscles have? Wondering whether or not IcyHot rub is a good idea.

70. Why do reindeer have fur? Because snowsuits don’t fit them.

71. What are the chances of a white Christmas? Pretty good. It’s Decembrrrrr.

72. What happens when you cross a wizard with a blizzard? You get a cold spell.

73. Why do ski socks never make plans? They’re afraid they’ll get cold feet.

74. How do you stay warm in any room during the winter? Go into a corner. It’s always 90 degrees.

75. How do you get a snowman to disappear? Give him a warm hug.

Next Up: Enjoy this Greatest List of 125 Christmas Puns—Ha-Ha-Ha, Merry Christmas!

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